When Sandra turned 65, her daughter surprised her with a gift that didn’t come in a box. Instead, it was a one-on-one session with a local elder law attorney.
“At first, I thought, What kind of birthday gift is a legal meeting?” Sandra joked. “But within minutes, I realized how much I didn’t know, and how much peace of mind it gave me. It was the best present I could’ve gotten.”
Sandra walked away from that meeting with something more valuable than a wrapped gift: clarity. She had a will, a trust, and healthcare directives in place. Most importantly, she knew her kids wouldn’t be left scrambling in a courtroom or second-guessing her wishes.
Yet Sandra is the exception, not the rule.
According to a 2024 survey by Caring.com, only 32% of American adults have a will or estate plan, and the numbers are even lower among middle-income families. Many people assume that estate planning is only for the wealthy, but the truth is, it’s essential for anyone with a home, family, or medical wishes they want honored.¹
“I’m not rich, but I do own a house and have some savings. If I can make things easier for my family, why wouldn’t I?” – Sandra, 65, Maine
Wills vs. Trusts: What Really Matters
It’s easy to think that a will is enough. After all, it’s the classic legal document we hear about in movies and conversations. But what many don’t realize is that a will alone often means your loved ones will face probate, a court-supervised process that can take months or even years.
When Harold passed away, his children thought they were prepared. “Dad had a will,” his son Jeff said. “But we didn’t know we’d end up in court for almost a year trying to get everything transferred. It was a nightmare. And expensive.”
That’s where a living trust makes a difference. A revocable living trust allows your chosen trustee to step in immediately, whether you’re incapacitated or have passed away, without the need for probate. This speeds up access to assets, protects your privacy (trusts are not public records like wills), and allows for smoother transitions.
More importantly, trusts aren’t just for the wealthy. Today, many middle-class families use trusts to ensure their homes, bank accounts, and belongings pass smoothly to their heirs.
“In my case,” Sandra said, “I’m not rich, but I do own a house and have some savings. If I can make things easier for my family, why wouldn’t I?”
The Advance Directive: Say What You Want, When You Can’t Speak
One of the most overlooked parts of estate planning is also one of the most critical: advance directives. These are legal documents that make your healthcare wishes known if you’re unable to speak for yourself due to illness or injury. They typically include a living will, which outlines the type of medical care you do or do not want, and a healthcare proxy (or medical power of attorney), which designates someone to make decisions on your behalf.
A 2024 study by the Kaiser Family Foundation found that only about 1 in 3 U.S. adults have an advance directive, despite the enormous relief it provides to families.²
Consider what happened to Maria, who suffered a sudden stroke at 70. “We didn’t know what she wanted,” her daughter Linda explained. “The doctors kept asking us, and we kept second-guessing. We didn’t want to make the wrong call.”
Linda’s family was left to guess about life support decisions, unsure if they were honoring Maria’s true wishes.
Advance directives eliminate that uncertainty. They give your loved ones confidence and clarity in some of life’s most difficult moments.
Why Even Middle-Class Families Need Asset Protection
Too many people believe estate planning is only necessary if you have millions in the bank. But protecting what you do have is just as important, especially when you consider how much can be lost to taxes, creditors, or family disputes without a plan in place.
If you own a home, have retirement savings, investments, or even a modest inheritance to pass on, you’re already in the category of someone who needs asset protection. For example, blended families, those with children from previous marriages, often face legal disputes when there’s no clear plan about who gets what.
John and Alice remarried in their early 60s, both with grown children from previous relationships. When John died suddenly without updating his estate plan, Alice inherited everything, including assets John had intended for his children. The result? Years of tension and an eventual lawsuit. John and Alice’s story is a composite, drawn from scenarios shared by estate attorneys to highlight the common risks blended families face when estate plans aren’t updated after marriage.
With the right planning, like using trusts and setting clear beneficiary instructions, this kind of conflict is entirely avoidable. Estate planning also helps reduce estate taxes and shields inheritances from being seized by creditors or ex-spouses.
Older Adults and Prenups: A Modern Take
Prenuptial agreements used to carry a reputation of being unromantic or only for celebrities. But today, more older adults are embracing prenups as a smart way to protect family relationships and long-term assets, especially in second or later-life marriages.
If you’re bringing property, savings, or children from a previous marriage into a new partnership, a prenup simply outlines what stays separate. It doesn’t have to be adversarial, in fact, most couples who create one say it gave them more peace of mind and strengthened their communication.
“It was just practical,” said Doris, 68, who remarried after losing her first husband. “I have a condo I bought myself, and I want it to go to my grandkids. My husband has his own things. The prenup keeps that all clear.”
What to Bring to Your First Planning Meeting
If you’re ready to take the next step, good for you. That one meeting can change everything. To make it productive, bring:
A written list of your major assets and debts, including property, bank accounts, and retirement funds
Names of the people you trust to make decisions for you in financial and medical matters
Clear notes about your healthcare wishes, for example, whether you’d want to be kept on life support
Any questions or concerns about your specific family situation, including blended families, special needs, or business ownership
It’s also helpful to let your family know that you’ve created a plan. You don’t need to share every detail, but preparing them now can prevent confusion or disputes later.
Peace of Mind Starts With a Plan
Estate planning may sound intimidating, but it’s really just about one thing: love. It’s about protecting the people you care about, easing their burden, and ensuring your wishes are honored.
And as Sandra learned, it doesn’t have to be complicated. “I went from rolling my eyes to feeling completely relieved,” she said. “I sleep better at night knowing my family won’t be left with a mess.”
Estate planning may feel overwhelming at first, but it’s one of the most loving things you can do. Start the conversation, make the call. Your family deserves clarity, comfort, and the peace of knowing your wishes.
About the Author
Written by the ZestYears Editorial Team
